The unprecedented revival
Dr. Waterson patiently corrected the impatient patient’s chart with a graphical notation and then updated her evaluation table. She frowned. It looked like a large problem was revealing itself, the likes of which had not been seen since Volume 75 in 1997.
She quickly traced the problem to a section of l’Hopital Central now run by Electra Lysis, a co-worker currently undergoing periodic difficulties. Electra (also known as Elly) made a waving sign as Dr. Waterson approached. “Something up?” Elly inquired. “I was about to bring Dee O. Fantine her formula—”
“There are issues we must discuss,” the Doctor interrupted. “Most importantly, this bill for Bill doesn’t fit the bill. I even chequed in voice, and Bill’s bill is for the birds! Why was he overcharged?”
Elly blinked. “Billing is an area solidly outside the sphere of my influence,” she protested. “Maybe the RSA cubicle is involved in another pyramid scheme?”
“It’s not an RSA scheme,” Waterson countered. “A raise for Bill’s records was cosigned by you. The change was logged.” She presented Elly with the file.
“This is an unnatural log! It could have been changed with ease, I saw it out on the lawn yesterday.”
Dr. Waterson frowned. “The file manager Doctor Firestone does tread out there occasionally when he’s tired. But Otto’s track record is not in question, as we’ve had a good year. And he didn’t charge Polly more fees; am sure of that.”
“I know what’s been done, lopped off decimal points!” Elly fumed, pointing back at the file in question. “That’s the problem, you should talk to Michelle in—”
“Wait,” Dr. Waterson interjected. “There are some very complex factors involved here and the problem isn’t imaginary. Your name has been coming up so often of late that it can’t be without basis. What IS odd is exactly why, seeing as you have been a practical, dependable worker…”
“I think this is a setup,” Elly concluded. “Let me contact my sister Ana.”
“Ana Lysis?”
“Actually Ana Nuther Value, now that she’s married Max Value,” Elly clarified.
“Oh! The PI?” Dr. Waterson recalled.
Elly nodded. “He just helped con Gruence with a case. I’m sure he can help us.”
Dr. Waterson nodded. “Let’s consult him then. No matter what, we must determine the meaning behind these events…”
*
To be continued…?
-Greg “hologrami” Taylor
[NOTE: This would be from Volume 85, in January 2001. Over three years after the initial "Hopital" story from Sept 1997, and shortly before my University graduation in April 2001. I had always left the plot hook... I'm not sure why I decided to return to it. Also not sure why I was keen on tires this entry, with firestone, goodyear and michelin.
At any rate, this is actually still online in back issues. Go to http://mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/?cat=3 then find V85.]
