Full of questionable content
“What are you doing at the Fourier Factory on this fine night?” Max muttered.
“Dr. Waterson connected our series of errors to your punctuation problem,” Elly explained.
“Did I?” Dr. Waterson worried.
“Sounds like a quick sort of decision,” Ana admitted. “But is merging really a heap of trouble, Max?”
“I suppose not,” he huffed. “But can we keep things proper, prim and kruskal?”
“NP. Complete control is yours,” endorsed Elly.
The four characters advanced into the factory a bit testily, making their way past a Campus Crew pram, a fortuitously full adder, and some touring machine pumping lemma meringue on the floor.
“Who Kleenes this place?” Waterson whispered.
“I think it’s a con cave, does the con vex you?” Max mused.
“I feel like a mime-on-the-road,” Elly enunciated erroneously.
“Would that make you the LIFO the party?” Ana articulated.
“Can we hash this out without getting to the use of PCP?” winced Waterson.
“Look, would UNIX all the talk now?” Max mumbled.
“Or what, you’ll deque someone?” asked Ana.
“But then wouldn’t the odds be stacked against us?” Waterson warned.
“Hey, either you back us now or form a rival group, right?” Max maintained.
“Wait!” Elly exclaimed. They all reached a halting state. “Your language is irregular,” Elly elaborated. “It’s currently all in the form of questions.”
“She’s right, isn’t she?” Ana asserted.
“Who am I, the Confused Mathie?” Max moped.
“Could there be interference from the CFL?”
“No, Doctor,” Elly expressed. “There is no field goal and the context is sensitive. In fact, I’m starting to realize that the complexity of the situation is a sham.”
“If so, doesn’t this sham rock?” mentioned Max.
“Could you not make this an ire ish?” Waterson wondered.
Elly exhaled. “Enough!” she soothed. “I think I now know who’s behind both the punctuation trouble AND the numerical mystery PLUS the reason they’ve been doing it!”
“What??” the others observed.
“Is this finally a terminal case?” Max marvelled.
*
Have you come by-nary a solution to this column? Then make sure to read the conclusion in two weeks time!
-Greg “hologrami” Taylor
[This appeared on the same mN page as “The Confused Mathie”, including a picture of me. I’d forgotten about that filler, though of course it was referenced by Max. Find it here: [mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/wp-conten...](http://mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/v85i5.pdf)
Did you spot the descriptives synching with the names? I'd forgotten about that too. And if only I could remember what "mime-on-the-road" was a reference to. Ah well, as it says above, last part in two weeks! Can you see where this is going?]
